Ladies, Apologies, But Isn't 'vintage'

I Can't Do Negative, Needy, Or Narcissistic Anymore. Oh Wait, I Can Still Do The Last One, Aw Nuts.

What I've Learned About Comedy People Is That They're Defined By The Harshest Level They've Been To, Their Personal Auschwitz.

I Don't Like To Drink Alone 'cause There's Nobody To Fight With.

Around Comics, I've Always Been Known For, Oh, That's Not Dirty, This Is Dirty.

Jon Lovitz. Jon, Your Act Is Like Masturbation: You're The Only One Who Enjoys It, And You Should Be Arrested For Doing It In Public.