Like Most Of The World's

When I Was A Kid I Had An Imaginary Friend And I Used To Think That He Went Everywhere With Me, And That I Could Talk To Him And That He Could Hear Me, And That He Could Grant Me Wishes And Stuff. And Then I Grew Up, And I Stopped Going To Church.

I Think They Got It Wrong With Saddam Hussein. They Thought He Had The A-bomb. Instead He Had A Bomb.

Saying That You Don't Believe In Magic But Do Believe In God Is A Bit Like Saying You Don't Have Sex With Dogs, Except Labradors.

I Was In The South Of France. I Saw A Brownie On A School Trip. She Was Holding Up A Book. It Said On The Front 'rough Guide'. I Thought: 'yeah' She's Not A Looker.

The Bigger The Audience, The Better With Comedy.