Love Is About Mutual Respect,

I'd Give All The Champagne I've Ever Drunk To Be Playing Alongside Him In A Big European Match At Old Trafford.

I Spent A Lot Of Money On Booze, Birds And Fast Cars. The Rest I Just Squandered.

They Say Paul Gascoigne Is The New George Best But Has He Shagged Three Miss Worlds?

I Never Went Out In The Morning With The Intention Of Getting Drunk. It Just Happened.

Robert Redford Used To Be Such A Handsome Man And Now Look At Him: Everything Has Dropped, Expanded And Turned A Funny Color.