I Once Dated A Girl

Once I Opened Up A Fortune Cookie And Inside Was The Guy's Cheque Next To Me I Said Hey Buddy I Got Your Cheque He Said Thanks.

You Know You're Old When Your Family Talk About You In Front Of You. What Are We Going To Do With Pop? We Have Company Tonight.

People Ask If I Can Get It Up In The Morning. I Tell Them Are You Kidding I'm Envious Of A Stiff Wind.

I Come From A Stupid Family. My Father Worked In A Bank. They Caught Him Stealing Pens.

I Tell Ya, My Wife's A Lousy Cook. After Dinner, I Don't Brush My Teeth. I Count Them.