Moslem: People Who Believe Suicide

God Designs People's Emotions So You Fall In Love With People Who, In Return, Wouldn't Even Use Your Hollowed-out Skull For A Spittoon.

Your Shower Is Ready - I Turned It On Last Night.

I Can't Memorize Names And Shake Hands At The Same Time.

I Think You Should Live Your Life So That The Maximum Number Of People Will Attend Your Funeral.

In Less Enlightened Times, The Best Way To Impress Women Was To Own A Hot Car. But Women Wised Up And Realized It Was Better To Buy Their Own Hot Cars So They Wouldn't Have To Ride Around With Jerks.