My Cousin Is Gay, I

My Family Was A Bunch Of Drunks. When I Was Six I Came Up Missing, They Put My Picture On A Bottle Of Scotch.

She Failed Her Drivers Test. She Couldn't Get Used To The Front Seat. It Took Her Four Lessons To Learn To Sit Up.

I Was An Ugly Kid; When I Was Born, After The Doctor Cut The Cord, He Hung Himself.

I'll Tell Ya, I Don't Get No Respect... The Other Day, I Got Back From A Business Trip. I Got In A Cab And Said To The Driver, "hey! Take Me To Where The Action Is!" So Ya Know Where He Took Me? He Took Me To My House!

My Wife Only Has Sex With Me For A Purpose. Last Night It Was To Time An Egg.