My Doctor Said I Look

My Doctor Said I Look Like A Million Dollars - Green And Wrinkled.

You Know, Last Night It Was So Cold That My Pillow And My Sheets Fought To See Who Got Under The Blankets First.

I Get Plenty Of Exercise Carrying The Coffins Of My Friends Who Exercise.

Any Kid Will Run Any Errand For You, If You Ask At Bedtime.

I Consider The Television Set As The American Fireplace, Around Which The Whole Family Will Gather.