My Father Helped Me Leave.

And Humor Has Always Been A Weapon. You Want To Get Even On Somebody? You Want To Attack Somebody? Make Fun Of Them.

When I Get Up In The Morning, I Have To Decide What I'm Going To Have For Dinner Or I Can't Get Through The Day.

Everything My Mother Made Had To Cook For 80 Hours, And When She Made Matzoh Balls She Didn't Know Fluffy. Everything Sank.

I Was A High School Throw-out.

The Other Day My House Caught Fire. My Lawyer Said, "shouldn't Be A Problem. What Kind Of Coverage Do You Have?" I Said, "fire And Theft." The Lawyer Frowned. "uh Oh. Wrong Kind. Should Be Fire Or Theft."