My Favourite Things Are Jokes,

Being A Fan Of Authentic Dada, I Find Today's Art - What I Call 'bankers' Dada' - Mind-numbingly Dull. The Most Challenging Work I've Seen Of Late Is By The British Art Resistance. Their Document, 'a Call For Heroes In An Age Of Cowards', Is Apt In These Days Of Witless Chancers.

My Favourite Things Are Jokes, Friendliness And Feeling Comfortable.

I Make Sure I Make A Painting - That's My Job. And I Cook The Sunday Dinner.

Before 1999, Tracey Emin And Sarah Lucas Offered To Get Me Exhibitions, But Joining The Stuckists Put A Kaibosh On All That - Because I Wasn't Prepared To Be Controlled. I Agreed To Co-found The Stuckists To Be Allowed To Say What I Wanted, And I Left The Stuckists Because I Didn't Really Want To Be In Them In The First Place.

I Think That The Mythology Of Van Gogh's Life, And The Beauty Of His Paintings, Is Unstoppable.