My Kids Scotch Tape Worms

Never Guess Your Wife's Size. Just Buy Anything Marked Petite And Hold On To The Receipt.

I Asked My Wife, 'is There Somebody Else?' She Said, 'there Must Be.'

I Come From A Stupid Family. My Father Worked In A Bank. They Caught Him Stealing Pens.

Well With Girls I Don't Get No Respect. I Had A Blind Date. I Waited Two Hours On The Corner. A Girl Walked By. I Said Are You Louise? She Said, Are You Rodney? I Said, Yeah. She Said, I'm Not Louise.

What A Childhood I Had. My Parents Sent Me To A Child Psychiatrist. The Kid Didn't Help Me At All.