My Mom Just Told Me

I Was Going To Do A Big Radio Show, And I Said To My Driver, 'radio Can Wait, Take Me To The Full House House.' It Literally Was A Drive-by. I Photobombed The Full House House Yesterday. I Took Like 20 Pictures Because I Thought I Didn't Look Good In Any Of These - You Can't See The House! You Gotta Really Show That That's The House!

My Wife Is A Saint. She's Gandhi. She Walks Around In Diapers And Won't Eat.

I Never Went To Camp As A Kid. I Couldn't Get Into An Ivy League School. I Wouldn't Join A Biker Club.

My Favorite Procrastination Is To Make The Choice To Have Valuable Times With Human Beings That I Care About Instead Of Holing Myself Up Alone To Get My Work Done.

Paul Riser Tells It In An Interesting Way; He Dissects It And Tells The Structure, You Know, 'you Don't Mention That Part Here.' But That's What's Interesting About It And The People Who Are Absent Are Interesting Too.