My Wife Is So Fat

Last Year My Birthday Cake Looked Like A Prairie Fire.

I Met The Surgeon General - He Offered Me A Cigarette.

I Once Dated A Girl That Was Wild. She Was So Wild That One Night She Gave Her Phone Number To The Mechanical Bull.

You Live With Life's Disappointments And Learn From Them. At Seventy-eight, I Know It All.

I Recently Had Double-bypass Surgery. As They Wheel You In, The Doctor Always Gives You A Last Look. You Know That Look. That Look Of Confidence To Make You Feel Good. I Always Say To Every Doctor, If I Don't Make It, I'll Never Know It.