Nancy Reagan Fell Down And

There's A Lot Of Hypocrisy In Audiences. I'd Never Dream Of Telling Even On A Nightclub Stage, Let Alone My Show, Some Of The Jokes That Are Told In A Lot Of The Living Rooms From Which We Get Those Letters!

When The Public Starts Classifying You As Thoughtful, Someone Given To Serious Issues, You Find Yourself Declassified As A Humorist.

I Wouldn't Have The Slightest Interest In Running For Public Office. I'd Rather Make Jokes About Politicians Than Become One Of Them.

Happiness Is Having A Rare Steak, A Bottle Of Whiskey, And A Dog To Eat The Rare Steak.

There Are Very Few Japanese Jews. As A Result, There Is No Japanese Word For Alan King.