Obviously I Am Not Bothered

About Every Four Years, Someone Says To Me, "i've Got A Friend Who Looks Exactly Like You." What Can You Say To This?

If You Want To Be Happy For A Short Time, Get Drunk Happy For A Long Time, Fall In Love; Happy Forever, Take Up Gardening.

It Is More Interesting To Be Compared To Someone Famous, Because It Lets You Gauge What Perceptions People Have About Your Appearance.

It's Worth Turning Up To An Awards Gig If You Know You've Won One But, Since You Never Do Know, It's Not Worth It.

Ninety-eight Per Cent Of Laughter Is Nothing To Do With Jokes, Which Do Not Deserve To Bear The Weight Of All The Funny Stuff In The World.