Once You Become A Comedian,

I Just Think It's Sad That The Main Places In Our Culture That We Designate To Meet New People Are Bars And Nightclubs.

If You Believe That Men And Women Have Equal Rights, If Someone Asks If You're Feminist, You Have To Say Yes Because That Is How Words Work.

It Can Take A Few Months To Get A New 10 Minutes. Usually It Takes Like 10 Times Of Repeatedly Trying Different Variations Of A Joke Until I Land On One I Think Is Really Good.

One Of My Life Goals Is To Be A Best Man. It's A Baller Position. You Get Drunk, You Make Speeches, And You Make Love To The Prettiest Bridesmaid, Usually Standing From Behind.

Fiddling Knobs, Touching Keys, Having Fun With A Full Grown Man.