People Think I'm An Artist

I Should Have Known Something Was Wrong With My First Wife. When I Brought Her Home To Meet My Parents, They Approved Of Her.

Your Audience Teaches You How To Be Funny.

Remember, If You Smoke After Sex You're Doing It Too Fast.

I Will Not Eat Oysters. I Want My Food Dead - Not Sick, Not Wounded - Dead.

I Always Thought That As Long As Man Is Mortal, He Will Never Be Relaxed.