People Want Sex Education Out

For Me, Comedy Is A Day-to-day Report On The Human Condition. It's What's Happening Right Now. I Get Maybe 20 Minutes Of My Act Straight From The Newspaper.

My Mother Always Said You Could Eat Off Her Floor; You Could Eat Of My Floor Too, There's So Much Food Down There.

President Reagan Is A Lot Like E.t. He's Cute, He's Lovable, And He Knows Nothing About How Americans Live.

Comedy Is A Blood Sport. It Flays The Truth And Spurts Twisted Logic. In America, People Become Comics Because We Don't Have Bullfighting.

President Bush Said He Didn't Want To Renew The Assault Weapons Ban Because It Might 'infringe On Hunters' Rights'. Who Needs An Ak-47 Machine Gun To Go Hunting? Let Me Tell You Guys Something... If It Takes You 500 Rounds To Bring Down A Deer, I Don't Want You Going To The Bathroom In My House!