Pliny The Elder, Who When

Sure, I've Gotten Old. I've Had Two Bypass Surgeries, A Hip Replacement, New Knees... I've Fought Prostate Cancer And Diabetes. I'm Half Blind, Can't Hear Anything Quieter Than A Jet Engine, And Take 40 Different Medications That Make Me Dizzy, Winded, And Subject To Blackouts. I Have Bouts With Dementia, Poor Circulation, Hardly Feel My Hands Or Feet Anymore, Can't Remember If I'm 85 Or 92, But... Thank God, I Still Have My Florida Driver's License!

Saint Christopher, Who Said, Where Can I Get A Frank Sinatra Medal? Never Got A Dinner!

Pope John Paul Ii's Press Secretary, Who Said, See, If Only The Pope Were Italian, He Woulda Shot Back! Never Got A Dinner!

Julius Caesar's Wife, Who Said To Julius, We Are Not Naming Our Son Sid! Never Got A Dinner!

Sydney Poitier, Who Said To Lester Maddox, Guess Who's Not Coming To Dinner? Never Got A Dinner!