Quiet Down, We Don't Want

You Know What I Love Best About Baseball? The Pine Tar, The Resin, The Grass, The Dirt - And That's Just In The Hot-dogs.

St. Patrick's Day Is The Fourth Biggest Drinking Day In America. It's Not The Biggest. It's Right Behind New Year's Eve, Fourth Of July, Or Any Secret Service Party.

New Orleans: The Least Annoying French Place On Earth.

Once You're President, You Can't Go Anywhere Without Causing Trouble. President Obama Shows Up In China, He's Chewing Gum, They Go Crazy. A Big Stink Because The President's Chewing Gum. And You Think, The Chinese Are So Easygoing About Human Rights. What's The Problem?

Jeb Bush May Run For President. Bush Presidencies Are Like 'caddyshack' Movies. They Should Have Stopped With One.