So A Lorry-load Of Tortoises

I Went To The Doctors The Other Day And I Said, 'have You Got Anything For Wind?' So He Gave Me A Kite.

So I Went To The Chinese Restaurant And This Duck Came Up To Me With A Red Rose And Says "your Eyes Sparkle Like Diamonds". I Said "waiter, I Asked For A-romatic Duck".

He Said 'i'm Going To Chop Off The Bottom Of One Of Your Trouser Legs And Put It In A Library. I Thought, "that's A Turn-up For The Books".

A Man Goes To A Fancy Dress Party Dressed Only In His Y-fronts. A Woman Comes Up To Him And Says "what Are You Supposed To Be?" The Man Says "a Premature Ejaculation." "what?" Says The Woman. The Man Explains "i've Just Come In My Pants."

I Used To Be Indecisive But Now I Am Not Quite Sure