So I Rang Up A

I Bought Some Hp Sauce The Other Day. It's Costing Me 6p A Month For The Next 2 Years.

You Know, Somebody Actually Complimented Me On My Driving Today. They Left A Little Note On The Windscreen, It Said 'parking Fine.'

Now You Know Those Trick Candles That You Blow Out And A Couple Of Seconds Later They Come Alight Again, Well The Other Day There Was A Fire At The Factory That Makes Them.

A Man Walks Into Doctor's Office. "what Seems To Be The Problem?" Asks The Doc. "it's ... Um ... Well ... I Have Five Penises." Replies The Man. "blimey!" Says The Doctor, "how Do Your Trousers Fit?" "like A Glove."

Two Peanuts Walk Into A Rather Rough Bar, Not Looking For Any Trouble. Unfortunately, One Was A Salted.