Swiss Cheese Is A Rip-off

I Went To The Airport, I Put My Bag In The X-ray Machine, I Found Out My Bag Has Cancer. It Only Has Six More Months To Hold Stuff.

People Who Smoke Cigarettes, They Say "you Don't Know How Hard It Is To Quit Smoking." Yes I Do. It's As Hard As It Is To Start Flossing.

I'm A Mumbler. If I'm Walking With A Friend, And I Say Something, He Says, "what?" So I Say It Again, And He Says, "what?" Really, It's Just Some Insignificant Stuff I'm Saying, But Now I'm Yelling, "that Tree Is Far Away!"

I Would Imagine That If You Could Understand Morse Code, A Tap Dancer Would Drive You Crazy.

When You Go To A Bar That Has A Black Light, Everybody Looks Cool. Except For Me, Because I Was Under The Impression That The Mustard Stain Came Out.