Telling People At A Dinner

My Epiglottis Is Full Of Bees!

Does Anyone Really Imagine For A Moment That My Wife Gives Two Stuffs About Global Warming? She Certainly Did Not Appear To Be All That Bothered On Thursday Evening When, During The Great Carbon-saving Switch-off, I Ran Round The House Furiously Turning On Every Light, Hair Dryer, Dishwasher And Toaster.

All This Health And Safety Talk Is Just Killing Me.

Let's Be Perfectly Clear, Shall We. The Fox Is Not A Little Orange Puppy Dog With Doe Eyes And A Waggly Tail. It's A Disease-ridden Wolf With The Morals Of A Psychopath And The Teeth Of A Great White Shark.

Like Every Big Organisation These Days, The Bbc Is Obsessed With The Wellbeing Of Those Who Set Foot On Its Premises. Studios Must Display Warning Notices If There Is Real Glass On The Set, And The Other Day I Was Presented With A Booklet Explaining How To Use A Door. I Am Not Kidding.