The Best Comedy, I Feel,

Well, I'm A 14 Handicap. Anyone Who Golfs Knows What That Means.

I Don't Know If You Want To See The Everybody Loves Raymond Guy In A Nude Scene.

I Had A Very Italian House - The "plastic Furniture You Couldn't Sit On" House. Did Anybody Have The Museum House? For A Kid It's Traumatic. Towels You Can Never Touch. China No One's Ever Gonna Use. Everything Is For A Special Occasion That Never Happens. My Mother Was Waiting For The Pope To Show Up For Dinner. Or Sinatra. Or Chachi.

I'd Rather Be In Las Vegas 104 Degrees Than New York 90 Degrees, You Know Why? Legalized Prostitution. In Any Weather That Takes The Edge Off.

Failure-it Centers Me. Too Much Success Has Me Thinking, All Right, What's Goin' On?