The Funniest Thing A Comedian

Trust Everybody, But Cut The Cards Yourself.

After Two Days In The Hospital, I Turn To The Nurse.

I Never Drink Water... Fish F**k In It.

Here Is My Best Advice On The Matter Of Deductibles: Just Count Off On Your Fingers All The Items That You Suspect Might Be Deductible - And Then Forget Them, Because They Aren't.

My Daughter Wants To Throw A Stone At A Bad Man. I Stop Her From Throwing, Shaking My Head And Giving Her A Little Slap. My Disapproval Is Complete. You Think: 'that's Right, She Shouldn't Throw A Stone Even At A Villain.' Then I Hand Her A Brick To Throw.