The Game's In The Refrigerator,

Players Are Spoiled By Charter Airplanes, The Finest Hotels, A Big Per Diem Every Day.

Portland Can Put The Champagne Away And Get Out The Bottled Water, 'cause That's All They're Gonna Drink On Their Way Home!

I Always Like To Pretend Two Things: One, I'm Sitting In The Seat Beside You Watching The Game Together. I'll Say, 'wasn't That A Great Shot? Boy, It Sure Was.' The Other Thing I Do Is Pretend I'm Talking To People Who Are Non-sighted. I Try To Create A Word Picture. I Get More Mail From Blind People Thanking Me.

The Game's In The Refrigerator, The Door's Closed, The Light's Out, The Eggs Are Cooling, The Butter's Getting Hard And The Jell-o's Jiggling.

Anybody Who Doesn't Think I Want The Lakers To Win Is A Fool. But I'm No Homer.