The Most Influential Thing Was

I'm Kind Of Obsessed With Food. I Like To Eat.

So Many Gay Jokes Tonight About (james) Franco. Apparently If You're Clean, Well Dressed And Mildly Cultured, You're Super Gay Now. Is That Why The Rest Of You Guys Are So Aggressively Fat And Dirty? You Think If You Read One Book And Take A Shower, Dicks Are Going To Just Fly Into Your Face.

It's The Hardest Thing To Come Up With An Hour Of Material That Can Consistently Keep People Laughing.

No One's Trying To Get With Jugglers.

At The Risk Bragging, One Of The Things I'm Best At Is Riding Coattails. Behind Every Successful Man Is Me, Smiling And Taking Partial Credit.