The Opposite Of Sad Is

Everyone Gets Laid Off And Everyone In Hollywood Gets Unemployment For Six Months While They're Looking For A New Job. So I Would Just Do Stand-up For Six Months And Think I Was Really Making It, And When My Unemployment Ran Out, I Had To Get Another Job Immediately.

I'm Fascinated By Offensive Subject Matter. Always Have Been. It Is Very Natural To Me, As Any Teach I've Ever Had Growing Up Could Attest.

My Girlfriend Has The Greatest Story As To Why She Isn't Religious Anymore. When She Was A Kid, Like 12 Years Old, Her Parents Nailed A 25 Pound Crucifix To The Wall Right Above Her Bed. About Two Weeks Later, In The Middle Of The Night, The Crucifix Falls Off The Wall And Leaves A Two Inch Gash In The Back Of Her Dad's Head.

Father's Day Makes Me Wish I Could Talk To My Dad Just One More Time, Instead Of All The Time.

Amy [schumer] And I Each Have Our Cross To Bear When It Comes To Tattoos. Amy And I Are Funny When We Fight. It Just Keeps Escalating Until One Of Us Starts Laughing. Then It's Over. I'm Happy That We're Friends.