The Queen Banishes Snow White

President Obama Announced His Re-election Campaign, Though It’s Not Really A Surprise. He Did All The Things That Make It Official: He Filed The Paperwork, Redesigned His Website, And Printed Another Fake Birth Certificate.

Pies Were Invented 12,000 Years Ago By The Egyptians. It Was An Easy Way To Preserve Food That Would Be Carried Over Long Distances. They Were Like Ancient Slim Jims.

I Used To Psych Myself Up Before The Show And Now I Do The Complete Opposite: I Psych Myself Down. It's 12:30 At Night, You Don't Want Some Guy Yelling At You. You Want Some Guy Just Talking To You.

Being Funny Is A Gift, And, When Done Well, Is An Art Form.

I Have No Ambitions Beyond Being Comfortable In What I Do For A Living - And Earning A Living.