The Rattle Of Plastic Keys

All I Can Do Is Turn A Phrase Until It Catches The Light.

Common Sense And A Sense Of Humour Are The Same Thing, Moving At Different Speeds. A Sense Of Humour Is Just Common Sense, Dancing. Those Who Lack Humour Are Without Judgment And Should Be Trusted With Nothing.

I Work On The Assumption, Or Let It Be The Fear, That The Reader Will Stop Reading If I Stop Being Interesting.

Twin Miracles Of Mascara, Her Eyes Looked Like The Corpses Of Two Small Crows That Had Crashed Into A Chalk Cliff.

When You Cut It Up, Put The Pieces In Your Mouth And Swallowed Them, The British Hamburger Shaped Itself To The Bottom On Your Stomach Like Ballast, While Interacting With Your Gastric Juices To Form An Incipient Belch Of Enormous Potential, An Airship Which Had Been Inflated In A Garage. This Belch, When Silently Released, Would Cause People Standing Twenty Yards Away To Start Examining The Soles Of Their Shoes. The Vocalized Version Sounded Like A Bag Of Tools Thrown Into A Bog.