The Worst Gift Is A

Nancy Reagan Fell Down And Broke Her Hair.

What's All This Fuss About Plutonium? How Can Something Named After A Disney Character Be Dangerous?

We Resort, Frankly, To Pies, Which Is A Comedy Staple That's Gone Back, I Guess, To Since The First Pie Was Ever Baked.

My Success Just Evolved From Working Hard At The Business At Hand Each Day.

Americans, Too Many Of Them, Take Themselves Too Seriously. You're Going To Get Rapped - By The Viewers, By The Sponsors And By The Network Brass - If You Joke About Doctors, Lawyers, Dentists, Scientists, Bus Drivers, I Don't Care Who. You Can't Make A Joke About Catholics, Negroes, Jews, Italians, Politicians, Dogs Or Cats. In Fact, Politicians, Dogs And Cats Are The Most Sacred Institutions In America.