There Is A Planet Named

Death Is Caused By Swallowing Small Amounts Of Saliva Over A Long Period Of Time.

To Me, Fast Food Is When A Cheetah Eats An Antelope.

In My Fifth-grade Yearbook - It's Right Up There On The Top Shell - The Last Page Says, "what About Your Future?" And Under My Name, It Says, "when I Grow Up, I Would Like To Be Either An Actor, A Radio Announcer, An Impersonator Or A Comedian."

The Older You Get, The Better You Realize You Were.

I Kind Of Like It When A Lot Of People Die, And On The Other Hand I Always Wonder How Many Unused Frequent-flier Miles They Had.