There's An Army Story In

If You Stand On A Soapbox And Trade Rhetoric With A Dictator You Never Win.

Comedy Is Serious - Deadly Serious. Never, Never Try To Be Funny! The Actors Must Be Serious. Only The Situation Must Be Absurd. Funny Is In The Writing, Not In The Performing. If The Situation Isn't Absurd, No Amount Of Joke Will Help.

All Right, I Am Often Brash, Rude And Brutally Direct. Someday I'm Going To Die And I Don't Have Time To Toe-dance Around The Periphery Of Hatred.

An Egg Cream Can Do Anything. An Egg Cream To A Brooklyn Jew Is Like Water To An Arab. A Jew Will Kill For An Egg Cream. It's The Jewish Malmsey.

Humor Is Just Another Defense Against The Universe.