There's No Such Thing As

Get Out Of Show Business. Its The Best Advice I Ever Got, Because Im So Stubborn That If Someone Would Tell Me That, I Would Stay In It To The Bitter End.

You See, My Father Was A Catholic Priest, Greek Orthodox, But I Think He Started Out As A Jew, Then He Became A Catholic Priest.

My Doctor Gave Me Six Months To Live, But When I Couldn't Pay The Bill He Gave Me Six Months More.

The First Girl You Go To Bed With Is Always Pretty.

I Have More Talent In My Smallest Fart Than You Have In Your Entire Body.