Use Crazy Glue And Nails

Halloween's My Favorite Holiday Because You Don't Have To Spend It With Your Family.

I Never Went Bungee Jumping. The Closest I Did Was I Was Born.

If I Have To Move Up In A Building, I Choose The Elevator Over The Escalator. Because One Time I Was Riding The Escalator And I Tripped. I Fell Down The Stairs For An Hour And A Half.

There Is A Fine Line Between A Sleepover And Just Drinking Way Too Much At Someone Else's House.

The Comedians I Liked Were Bill Cosby And Steven Wright, Like Just Always As A Comedic Actor. I Always Liked Gary Larson, Who's Really Funny For A Cartoonist, Obviously.