Waiting To Be 'better' Is

I Still Get Awful Depression. It's Who I Am.

So I'm Back Again To The Eternal Question, The One That Has Plagued Me All My Life: How Do Other People Do It? How Come They Were Given Life's Rule Book And I Missed Out? Where Was I When God Was Dispensing Capability And Cop On? Looking At Shoes, Probably.

When God Closes One Door, He Slams Another In Your Face

God! I Hated This Business Of Being Grown-up. I Hated Having To Make Decisions Where I Didn't Know What Was Behind The Door. I Wanted A World Where Heroes And Villains Were Clearly Labeled. Where Ominous Music Comes On-screen So You Can't Possibly Mistake Him. Where Someone Asks You To Choose Between Playing With The Beautiful Princess In The Fragrant Garden And Being Eaten By The Hideous Monster In The Foul-smelling Pit. Not Exactly A Difficult One, Now Is It? Not Something That You Would Agonize Over, Or That Would Make You Lose A Night's Sleep?

The Back Windows Looked Out Over The Fields, Then The Atlantic, Maybe A Hundred Yards Away. Actually, I'm Just Making That Bit Up. I Had No Idea How Far Away The Sea Was. Only Men Could Do Things Like That. "half A Mile." "fifty Yards." Giving Directions, That Sort Of Thing. I Could Look At A Woman And Say "thirty-six C." Or "let's Try It In The Next Size Up." But I Had No Idea How Far Away Tim's Sea Was Except That I Wouldn't Want To Walk To It In High Heels.