What's This About Rice Milk?

Use Crazy Glue And Nails To Turn A Rocking Chair Into Just A Chair That Looks Like A Rocking Chair.

Sometimes, When Something Really Great Happens To Me, I Like To Wait Two Weeks Before I Tell Anyone About It, Because I Like To Use The Word 'fortnight'.

Checkers Taught Me That A King Is A Man With Another Man On Top Of Him. But Life Taught Me That That's Actually Called A Queen.

For Me And Most Of My Friends Who Are Comedians, If You've Been Doing Comedy For A While, Your Tolerance For Things Actually Moves. I Find It Very Hard To Be Shocked, And When Other People Aggressively Take Offense To Something, I'm Sometimes Confused.

You Need An Audience To Help You Figure Out What's Working And What's Worth Putting On Your Album Or Your Special - Or Even Just What's Worth Touring With.