When I Read 'be Real,

Why Do They Call It An Asteroid When It's Outside The Hemisphere, But Call It A Haemorrhoid When It's On The Outside Of Your Ass?

I Like Salvador Dali And Rene Magritte. I Also Like The Scottish Artist John Byrne, Another Surrealist.

Ally Macleod Thinks That Tactics Are A New Kind Of Mint.

I Hate All Those Weathermen, Too, Who Tell You That Rain Is Bad Weather. There's No Such Thing As Bad Weather, Just The Wrong Clothing.

When You Involved In An Accident And Someone Asks "are You Alright?" Yes Fine Thanks, I'll Just Pick Up My Limbs And Be Off.