When I Told My Wife

What A Kid I Got, I Told Him About The Birds And The Bee And He Told Me About The Butcher And My Wife.

My Psychiatrist Told Me I Was Crazy And I Said I Want A Second Opinion. He Said Okay, You're Ugly Too.

I Was An Ugly Child. I Got Lost On The Beach. I Asked A Cop If He Could Find My Parents. He Said, 'i Don't Know. There's Lots Of Places For Them To Hide'.

When You Walk Up Five Flights Of Stairs At Four In The Morning, There's Definitely A Hooker Involved.

I Don't Get No Respect. I Called Suicide Prevention. They Tried To Talk Me Into It.