When You Walk Up Five

I Remember I Was So Depressed I Was Going To Jump Out A Window On The Tenth Floor; They Sent A Priest Up To Talk To Me And He Said, ' On Your Mark...'

My Wife Gives Good Headache.

Women My Age Just Don't Turn Me On. That's Another Problem With Getting Older. I Took Out An Older Woman The Other Night, And I Mean Old. I Told Her, Act Your Age. She Died.

Once When I Was Lost I Asked A Policeman To Help Me Find My Parents. I Said To Him, 'do You Think We'll Ever Find Them?' He Answered, 'i Don't Know, Kid. There Are So Many Places They Can Hide.

When I Was Born I Was So Ugly The Doctor Slapped My Mother.