When I Was 10, I

I Think Of People As Members Of An Audience. But An Audience Acts Independently Of Every Individual. It's An Organism On Its Own. I Focus On That Living Hydra In The Dark.

For Some Reason, Religious Jokes Seem As Trivial As Jokes About Food Or Driving.

I'm Learning Cuban. It's Like Spanish, But With Fewer Words For Luxury Items.

My Girlfriend Said, Emo, I'm Seeing Another Man. I Said, Well, Try Rubbing Your Eyes Or Something.

Some Comedians Change Their Style, Often To Their Advantage; But I See No Reason Why I Can't Continue With The "urbane Sophisticate" 'til The Day I Die.