When People Say "it's Always

I Decided To Stop Drinking While It Was Still My Idea.

Now, The Country Is In A Terrible State, And You've Blamed It On A Number Of Things: Unemployment Rate, The Value Of The Pound And All That... Wrll, It's Because The National Anthem Is Boring.

I Always Look Skint. When I Buy A Big Issue, People Take It Out Of My Hand And Give Me A Pound.

I'm A Huge Film Star... But You Have To Hurry To The Movies, Because I Usually Die In The First 15 F--ing Minutes. I'm The Only Guy I Know Who Died In A F--ing Muppet Movie.

If You Give People A Chance, They Shine.