When You Meet Someone You

Being A Rapper Is About Being Cool, But Being A Comedian, You're Not Supposed To Be The Coolest Guy.

Comedians Don't Have Hits. You Have To Have A Whole Brand-new Hour. You Have No Hits To Rely On.

I Have A Couple Of 'doing Caps' In My Wallet. That's What I Call Condoms.

I Went To A Place Recently I Think Is One Of The Most F**ked Up Places I've Ever Been To. I'm Convinced This Place Is The Epitome Of American Excess, Of American Greed. I'm Talking About A Place Called Cold Stone Creamery. Whoa. If You Have Not Been There, The Basic Gist Of Cold Stone Is That They Take Ice Cream And Then They Just Go Ape Sh*t With It.

I Went To A Place Recently I Think Is One Of The Most F**ked Up Places I've Ever Been To. I'm Convinced This Place Is The Epitome Of American Excess, Of American Greed. I'm Talking About A Place Called Cold Stone Creamery. Whoa. If You Have Not Been There, The Basic Gist Of Cold Stone Is That They Take Ice Cream And Then They Just Go Ape Sh*t With It.