Wit Goes For The Jugular,

Showing Up At School Already Able To Read Is Like Showing Up At The Undertaker's Already Embalmed: People Start Worrying About Being Put Out Of Their Jobs.

As The Only Class Distinction Available In A Democracy, The College Degree Has Created A Caste Society As Rigid As Ancient India's. Condemning Elitism And Simultaneously Quaking In Fear That Our Children Won't Become Members Of The Elite, We Send Them To College, Not To Learn, But To "be" College Graduates, Rationalizing Our Snobbery With The Cliché That High Technology Has Eliminated The Need For The Manual Labor That We Secretly Hold In Contempt.

To A Southerner It Is Faux Pas, Not Sins, That Matter In This World.

One Of Life's Intriguing Paradoxes Is That Hierarchical Social Order Makes Cheap Rents And Outré Artists' Colonies Possible. Raffish Bohemian Neighborhoods Flourished In The Days Of Racial Segregation; Under Integration The Artistic Poor Have No Safe Places In Which To Create.... If America Lacks A Vigorous Culture It Is Partly Because Studios And Ateliers Have Become Crack Houses.

Real Feminism Is Spinsterhood. It's Time America Admitted That Old Maids Give All Women A Good Name.