With Girls I Get No

My Parents Didn't Like Me. For Bathtub Toys They Gave Me A Blender And A Transistor Radio.

My Wife Is So Fat That The Last Time I Saw Something That Big It Was Grazing.

I Don't Get No Respect. I Called Suicide Prevention. They Tried To Talk Me Into It.

I Told My Doctor, "i've Swallowed A Bottle Of Sleeping Pills" And He Told Me To Have A Few Drinks And Get Some Rest.

My Kid Wants To Be A Prison Warden When He Grows Up So He Can Put Thumb Tacks On The Electric Chairs.