Ye Gads, No! I Couldn't

There Are Only Two Real Ways To Get Ahead Today - Sell Liquor Or Drink It.

It Is Well To Remember That There Are Five Reasons For Drinking: The Arrival Of A Friend, One's Present Or Future Thirst, The Excellence Of The Cognac, Or Any Other Reason

A Man Who's Intoxicated All The Time Doesn't Need Sympathy.

I Have A Poor Memory For Names; But I Seldom Remember A Face.

A Man Who Overindulges Lives In A Dream. He Becomes Conceited. He Thinks The Whole World Revolves Around Him; And It Usually Does.