You Know It's Time For

My Preference Is Swimming In The Sea. I Find The Sea Is More Liberating, Wild And Good Fun Rather Than Plodding Up And Down A Pool.

They Say Revenge Is A Dish Best Eaten Cold, But For Most People, By The Time It's Ready To Eat, They Just Don't Fancy It Any More.

It Is Unrealistic To Expect An Entire Profession To Be Completely Good. There Are Bound To Be Some Individuals Who Are Stressed, Who Are Unkind, Who Are A Bit Rubbish At Their Job, Who Are In The Wrong Career.

I Often Tell Audiences At The Start Of My Shows That I'm Not Gay Because I've Got Petitions From Lesbian Groups Saying 'can You Tell People You're Heterosexual Because You're Giving Us A Bad Name.'

I'm Too Nervous To Eat Before I Go Onstage, And I'll Usually Eat Out After The Performance Or When I Get Home At Midnight.