You Know What I Hate?

I've Always Suffered From A Complete Inability To Sense Who's Important.

I Never Cheated On My Wife. I Took Seriously Those Vows Of Celibacy.

Interviewers Always Used To Ask Me About My Pageboy Haircut, And It Drove Me Nuts: It Almost Made Me Suspect That There Was Something Strange About It. So I Cut Off My Pageboy.

Once I Was In A Restaurant And I Dropped My Fork On The Floor, And They Gave Me A New Fork. So I Pushed My Girlfriend Out Of Her Chair.

Charlie Chaplin Is The Greatest Artist Of The 20th Century. He Takes Me From Laughter To Tears In Seconds. And He Was One Of The Very First Funny Men. It's Like The Original Violins Were Made In Cremona And There's Never Been Any Better Since. Sometimes The Best Come Right Off The Bat.