You Know You've Reached Middle

I Like My Politicians And My Judges And My Lawyers To Be Simple. I Think If You Worry About Where Your Hemline Is You're Really Not Concentrating On The World Crisis.

My Breasts Are So Low, Now I Can Have A Mammogram And A Pedicure At The Same Time.

The Only Way I Can Get A Man To Touch Me At This Age Is Plastic Surgery.

I’m Never Without A Bandage.

If You Can't Make Fun Of Yourself, You Don't Have Any Right To Make Fun Of Others