A Man In The Crowd

If You Can't Write Your Own Material, You Have Very Little Chance Of Making It As A Comedian.

Women My Age Just Don't Turn Me On. That's Another Problem With Getting Older. I Took Out An Older Woman The Other Night, And I Mean Old. I Told Her, Act Your Age. She Died.

My Childhood Was Bad. No Father. Mother Was Greedy And Brought Me Up Awful - Never Made Me Breakfast Once. I Don't Want To Get Started. One Story Is Worse Than Another.

I Stuck My Head Out The Window And Got Arrested For Mooning.

I Live In A Tough Neighborhood. They Got A Children's Zoo. Last Week, Four Kids Escaped.